Graham

Colostomy since 2006

Diagnosed, and then what?

For a period I had blood in my stools and strong pains, and in December 2005, I was diagnosed with rectal cancer. Everything went very fast once I was hospitalised. I got my diagnosis and treatment suggestions within 2 weeks. The cancer tumour was to be treated first with chemotherapy followed by radiation therapy — and then a stoma. My reaction was: 'Better a stoma than a coffin'. That’s how I am; I wanted to move on and refused to let fear and grief lead me because I am in no way finished living.

The stoma care specialists were incredibly helpful

Early in the process, I was contacted by the stoma care specialist who gave me information on what a stoma was. I knew well what a stoma was, but I did not know anyone who had a stoma. Before surgery, I met the stoma care specialist again to measure out where to place my stoma. We both agreed on where, and the stoma was placed so I could use the same clothes as before.

The stoma care specialists were incredibly helpful during the whole course. Even though I was confident about taking care of my stoma when I was discharged from the hospital, they came and visited me at home. It felt very safe.

The air has to come out...

I had surgery twice. In the first operation I had my stoma made, and shortly afterwards I was re-operated on and had my rectum removed. It is tough to go through chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and two operations, so it was an advantage for me that I’d always been in good shape.

Although I was well prepared, it was hard getting used to the stoma. One of the first nights after surgery, there was too much air in the bag and it leaked. At that time I had no positive expectations to my life ahead with a stoma. Luckily the nurse reassured me, explaining that it was additional air in my intestines due to surgery, and I haven’t had any accidents since.

Although I sleep heavily, I wake up if there is air in the bag, which is usually after a few pints in the pub with my friends. Talking about air, it may well happen that it must come out in good company. With a stoma you are not in control of when to fart, and it just might make quite a noise. So I always say: 'Don’t look at ME!' It might just as well be one of them. The difference is only that I cannot control when to pass wind. On the other hand, it does not smell because of the filter in the bag.

My bowels work very regularly. Most of the time, I can control the emptying every morning by sitting down on the toilet just like before I got my stoma. The only difference is that the stools are in the bag. I really like the idea of being able to flush my stoma bags down the toilet. With a bag like that, you can go to the bathroom discreetly.

Everyday life with a stoma

I am now completely accustomed to my life with a stoma, which is not different than it would have been without the stoma. I pay so little attention to my stoma that on one occasion after a bath, I was nearly finished dressing before I realised that I had forgotten to put on my stoma appliance — simply because I do not reflect on the stoma being there.

I have always done a lot of swimming, and I still go to the swimming centre followed by a sauna bath. I have had no problems with that at any time. I use a mini-cap, a very small stoma bag, which most of all resembles a round band-aid, and nobody notices it through my hipster bathing trousers.

I care a lot for my big dog, a German Shepherd, and we go for long daily walks together. After a really long walk, it can be nice with a game of pool with some of my good old friends. We also watch rugby matches together, either in the stadium or on the telly. I was a professional rugby player for Wales in my young days, so I pay attention when the home team is playing. It feels a bit like being in the field again.

I have a really wonderful life that is not affected or limited by my having a stoma.